Wholeheartedly…

Never shy away from opportunity and wholehearted living. Never be fearful of putting yourself out there. The courageous may encounter many disappointments, experience profound disillusionment, gather many wounds; but cherish your scars for they are the proud emblems of a truly phenomenal life. The fearful, cautious, cynical and self-repressed do not live at all. And that is simply no way to be in this world. – Anthon St. Maarten

Do you know how easy it is to advice people to give love to others more than they’re receiving? How quick we are to say ‘love others with the love of God’, maybe not those exact words but you get what I mean. How easy it is to say ‘love your neighbors as you love yourself’…especially when it is not reciprocated.

But if you’ve had meaningful relationships, you would have noticed that it is more complicated than the textbook states.

You would know that it is difficult to love when you’re not getting the same energy or vibe in return; you’ll know it is difficult because you’re being drained and not getting filled up in return.

You might ask, why should I put effort into something that wouldn’t yield fruit? Like many other questions about life, there is no straight forward reply. So let’s work with an illustration.

You have a business idea, you assume it would work out because it seems to be something that’ll resolve a major issue within your immediate surrounding but there are so many things to be done and inputted.

You need money, you need time, you need connections, you need customers, amongst other crucial things.

Don’t forget that one can’t suffice for the other, if something is missing, there would be an obvious gap.

So time is passing, you’re working other jobs and don’t have the time to put in the required effort…know that business won’t pick up. You just know it somewhere at the back of your mind that if you don’t put in the time and effort your dream would remain a dream.

But you keep nurturing this dream and hoping that someday you would have the time, I can tell you for free, you’re being a clown. And time would keep running out till you can do nothing and then regret takes the place of hope.

Now, an example. I’ve had loads of experiences when it comes to relationships, with friends and lovers. And I can say for a fact, that it has never been a walk in the park.

Presently, I have two best friends and even though it’s just a friendship but deeper, we’ve gone through a lot of drama. But what I have noticed is this…if you want something to work out, you sometimes need to put in extra work and effort. Extra. More. More than required. More than gotten.

Doing things wholeheartedly gives you satisfaction, it gives a feeling of content and makes you feel…to me, like a god. There’s no room for irrelevant criticism and spite. You just wouldn’t care because you’ve done your best.

Putting effort into your relationships does more for you than the other person, it might not seem like that at first but trust me…it will.

In some special cases, I encourage you to let go. Why? I thought you just said we should put in more effort?

Yes, put in extra but know when to withdraw. Know when to put a stop to being used. There’s this quote that I keep coming across, ‘it is difficult to know when to put in extra effort and when to let go’.

It is difficult, if you want it to be. It’ll be easy, if you want it to be. There are many things we can’t control but our relationships aren’t in the category.

Relationships take time, they take effort, they take resources…you can say relationships are businesses. If you don’t work on it, it won’t work for you.

If you don’t put in the effort, you would reap some fruits but they’ll be short lived. Just the way you put effort in to your studies, job or business, you should maintain the same energy in your relationships.

Commit wholeheartedly. It is one of the hardest things to do, in business or relationships; it’s like focusing and pumping energy into something you’re not sure about, it might feel like hell but you would know why later.

Love wholeheartedly. Give all you can, be good, be kind, be you. Behave the way you would want others to behave, not necessarily towards you but towards life.

Live wholeheartedly. Smile, laugh, dance, be alive and be human. Choose yourself, choose love, choose friendship. Promote peace and sanity.

We’re all going through life one step at a time, I’m not sure of a lot of things but all I know is slow and steady yields better.

With all my love,

Soye.